CAPS LOCK and the Ellipsis of Doom Michael Aaron
GREETINGS LOWER CASE BOY
proud to be at your side captain lets check the grammarphone for messages
TROUBLE DOWNTOWN ITS THAT NO GOOD DUO COLON AND SEMICOLON CAUSING MAYHEM AGAIN
when will they learn its just not right to conjoin unrelated subjects
QUICK TO THE LOGOMOBILE
there they are captain and it looks like theyre trying to get away
:Too late: You’ll never catch us; we have an escape clause
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE YOU TWO
:Here is what can stop us: Nothing; nada, zip
i think we need some help captain
YOURE RIGHT LOWER CASE BOY
?Did somebody call?
question mark? thank goodness youre here
:Whats this? Our nefarious schemes are foiled: He has backup; help, aid, but we are not finished yet; or are we?
?What would you do without me?
!Not so fast!
?What are you doing here?! I cant stop him taking over!!!
!Time to die Captain! And your pathetic friends!
this looks bad captain!! the mighty exclamation gets stronger the more we resist!!!!
!You can never win!! I grow more emphatic by the second!!!!!
QUICK!!! WE NEED TO SLOW THINGS DOWN!!!!!!
,Don’t worry Captain, I heard, just now, you were in trouble, I’m here, and so is Apostrophe
COMMA GIRL, AND APOSTROPHE, YOU’RE JUST IN TIME!
!No! You’re ruining the tension, I can feel myself wasting away: Come on colon; lend some immediacy, please? I’m losing energy, and pace, can’t you, two, do, something?
you’ve done it Comma, but they’re getting away
?Shall we follow them to their lair?
GOOD IDEA, MARK
there they are
WAIT, ISN’T THAT…
…That’s right Captain…predictable as usual…You fell right into my little trap! I knew you would come…
…Yes…and now you are in my Fortress of Aposiopesis, you will never leave….Ha…Ha…Ha….
?What will we do, Captain?…Captain…?
NOTHING WE CAN DO, MARK…ELLIPSIS…SAPPING…ALL…ENERGY…
quick, comma girl, apostrophe…before it’s too late…
,We, need, something, to end this…now…
IT’S…THE ONLY WAY…
!Ellipsis! Stop them!! They’re going to…
:The one thing to put an end to our plans: an end; a conclusion…
…They wouldn’t dare…It will finish them too…
that was a close one, captain.
ELLIPSIS IS GOING AWAY FOR A LONG, LONG TIME.
,Thank goodness we had this new paragraph, or we’d be done for too.
?But wait…Ellipsis is breaking free! How did she escape…?
…Fools! I’ve been dealing with periods since I was a child…Come Hyphen, let’s show them some real power…Time-stretching…
time…passing…so…slowly…captain…your toolkit! isn’t there…something…you can use…
…OF COURSE! MY BRACKETS!
(…)What? Stop that! (…) No, wait! (…) You can’t (…)
,It’s working, Captain (…) Time’s speeding up again.
MAYBE A LITTLE TOO FAST (…) FEELS LIKE WE’RE MISSING SECTIONS.
let’s take these miscreants back where they belong, captain.
THEY’RE IN FOR A LONG, DIFFICULT SENTENCE.
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