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16 Comments

  1. MereMorckel
    March 7, 2014 @ 4:14 pm

    Good balance of detail – enough to see the scene but you still leave room for the imagination!

    Reply

  2. Jimmy F Ramos
    November 16, 2013 @ 9:16 am

    Beautiful story. I don’t know of anybody living each day counting on numbers for a pack of blessings–outside those in my neighborhood who play the three-digit lotto. The story is really a sliver of life well-evoked. Thanks for the treat & looking forward for more. By the way, why is this story classed in Urban Fantasy?

    Reply

  3. Lisa J.
    May 30, 2013 @ 2:44 pm

    Really enjoyed reading this. Great story. Love the characters’ quirks and the flawless prose!

    Reply

  4. Greg
    May 6, 2013 @ 2:30 pm

    That’s a wonderful story. Powerful characterization for such a short story.

    Reply

  5. Greg
    April 29, 2013 @ 8:45 pm

    “She had nice knees” – Classic

    Reply

  6. Miriah
    April 17, 2013 @ 6:24 pm

    I loved your story… I thought it was very good. I could “see” what was going on; it was nice to be able to read a picture painted with words like that.

    Reply

  7. lalala
    March 31, 2013 @ 7:17 pm

    Was she a witch? What was going on at the end? Why didn’t he remember his name?

    Reply

    • Willis
      June 12, 2013 @ 6:59 am

      Keith Crust was his stage name he chose at 13.
      Keith Krussmacher is his real name or birth name.

      That is how I understand it anyways.

      Reply

  8. Paolo Jose Cruz
    March 28, 2013 @ 12:10 pm

    Absolutely captivating. Granted, some of the influences are readily noticeable; traces of Bukowski and Palahniuk. But it just gives the story a welcoming familiarity, rather than a derivative quality.

    Characterization was spot-on. Keith Crust was a believable sketch of an also-ran punk. Likewise, Paula could have easily been a Manic Pixie Dream Girl caricature, in the hands of a less skilled writer, but this story made her feel convincingly quirky.

    The subtle hypocrisy of Keith’s worldview was a really nice touch.

    Reply

    • Alisa Alering
      April 3, 2013 @ 1:41 pm

      Thanks for your thoughts, Pablo. Interestingly (and perhaps embarrassingly) I have never read anything by Palahnuik. I keep meaning to read Fight Club but….well, you know. Probably read Bukowski somewhere back in the teen years. I guess that just shows how influences filter through culture, even indirectly.

      Reply

  9. Rooti
    March 26, 2013 @ 11:23 pm

    I liked it. Kept me engaged to the fill-in-the-blanks ending.

    Reply

  10. Frank Galiani
    March 26, 2013 @ 1:14 am

    Great story, Alisa. Where can I get my Keith Crust and the Secretions T-shirt?

    Reply

  11. Ashley Hope Pérez
    March 25, 2013 @ 8:19 pm

    The most glaring shortcoming of Twitter? That it doesn’t allow enough characters for me to blast that gorgeous last sentence across the whole Internet. Hot damn, that’s a beautiful bit. I like it so much, I am RETYPING IT below just to see what it might feel like to write such a sentence:

    “As he moved towards her, it was like what stepping out on stage used to be: his voice crouched in his throat, his heart beating in his palms, as he burst out under the lights and let the bright world rip through him.”

    Nice. Very, very nice.

    Reply

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