Zzzzpssttbewbewzapzap-HUM!

Dear sacks of carbon. We interrupt this regularly scheduled program of THE GUTTERS to bring you this commercial message!

FXXK WRITING: A GUIDE FOR FRUSTRATED ARTISTS is here!

Yes, after nearly two years of shaking fists and pounding the keys, Jay Ridler has compiled the best bits from year one of this column into a writing guide! Pre-order the mondo-cheap ebook now like millions of others right NOW! Paper edition forthcoming!

But wait! There’s more!

CELEBRITY ENDORSEMENTS!

“FXXK WRITING is the brutal survival guide you didn’t know you needed for maintaining some vestige of sanity over the long haul in the writing business.”

That, ladies and germs, is New-York-Times Best-Selling Author Carrie Vaughn! Her new novel, BANNERLESS, is due next month and looks kick ass!

But wait! That’s not all!

The introduction is provided by award-winning playwright, performer, and director Ann Randolph! If there’s someone who knows about sacrifice to make art, it’s Ann. Check out this interview to hear Ann’s own saga of awesome. What did she think of Jay’s guide to surviving in the arts?

“FXXK WRITING replaces wishful thinking with honest inspiration. It’s raw, funny, and smart, just like Jay.”

FREE TASTE!

From the dedication page:

“To my detractors who think I’m a bitter failure jealous of other people’s success, who dismiss my arguments as self-indulgent joy earned from salacious cheap shots at their heroes, who pine to be the One Percent of publishing while perversely believing the system is fair (even math idiots like me know that ain’t true), who equate fiscal success with being “better” than others, and who ask that I stop challenging authority and instead only cheer, validate, and vindicate the elites they will never be, I salute you. Your adherence to dogma inspires me to be vigilant in the face of conformity and success. May you enjoy the illusions that give you comfort.

“Some of us have work to do.”

BONUS GOODIES!

FXXK WRITING also gives you super-mega bonus material, like:

• THE SECRET ORIGINS OF FXXK WRITING!
• JAY’S JOURNEY AS AN ARTIST ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE POVERTY LINE!
• AND UNCOVER THE TRUTH TO THE RUMOR: DID JAY MAKE IT TO “SELL-OUT ISLAND”???

JOIN “TEAM RIDLER” AND BUY FXXK WRITING: A GUIDE FOR FRUSTRATED ARTISTS TODAY!

Zzzzpssttbewbewzapzap-CRAK!

Huh. Odd. Guess I’ll have to save that story about legendary writer Harlan Ellison writing me a fan letter for another day. Oh well! See you next time!

Role Credits!