Issue 133 October 2024

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Editorial: What Weird Horror Reveals

by Avra Margariti

October 1, 2024

Weird horror for us has a sticky quality. It tends to stay around long after the story is over. All successful horror can linger in the mind of the reader, but weird horror for us goes one step further. Instead of confirming the nightmares you already have, it reveals the wrongness that has always existed around you by letting you peek through the fabric of the world.

Weird horror forces us to interrogate the boundaries between the body and the mind, as well as the relative position of a story’s protagonist: in space and time, within society and anti-society, in the meatspace universe and the memory palace that the self can simultaneously occupy.

Body horror becomes a tool of oppression, as well as transformation. Grief becomes a well that, yawning open, births floral monsters. The binds of propriety and complacency tighten to the point of sundering, at which point the devils come out to play. Strange phenomena become even stranger as you fight against them, only to give in.

Everything is slightly off after reading such a story. Everything is disturbing—even little children, as you will see for yourselves in Within the Dead Whale.

After meeting The Clockwork Sisters, you’ll never stop wondering what’s hiding inside someone’s beautiful skull. Or what the Dissection of a Mermaid might reveal about your own well-hidden grief.

They say something is better than nothing but what if The Trade is that you are now constantly reminded of what you lost? What if bringing terrifying justice to those who deserved it came with the sound of a Vinegar-Gurgle? Would you open your ears to hear it?

When you entered The Tub for a few moments of peace, you wouldn’t have guessed that this peace (and your body) could stretch for eternity. You’ll experience the deliciousness of motherhood like nobody else if you wish To Serve the Emperor. The Final Harvest of those motherly actions might look like plants, sprouting from a rotting corpse.

In these stories, all kinds of borders become porous and permeable. The self merges and clashes with the environment and the other. The body and mind ooze between interconnected vessels. Reality and unreality become two sides of the same cursed coin as they enter into communion with the Weird, to emerge into something beautifully grotesque and wholly unrecognizable.

***

Ⓒ ​​Avra Margariti & Eugenia Triantafyllou

Within the Dead Whale

by Spencer Nitkey

October 4, 2024

Content Warning: Animal death, drowning, bodily fluids

Comments

  1. James Miller says:
    First, gross!

    Second, nice! Some thoughtful plays on an analogy without entirely closing the loop for the reader. Sort of an eerie, mysterious feel without actually becoming horror. I like this a lot.

  2. Peter Palmqvist says:
    I struggle massively with feeling mediocre when it comes to being a father, so this really hit home. also, that ending. Beautiful.
  3. ZD Dochterman says:
    Wonderful work. Cetacean-human death drive vibes.

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The Clockwork Sisters

by L.M. Guay

October 8, 2024

Content Warning: implied child abuse


When Sister leaves me, I am ten and she is fifteen. She gives five extra twists to the secret key in my spine to make sure I do not wake, one for each year she is older.

We live in a home of clear glass atop a sighing marsh, where our walls sink each year and cloud over with fog each morning, like a candy counter breathed upon by covetous mouths. Our parents will never leave this place, far from the city. Nearby they keep their workshop—our playland—full of gears that glitter like spun sugar and the pearls they use as baby teeth, all for the bespoke children our parents make to sell in the night market.

“The humbler the setting, the more beautiful the jewel,” Father often says of me and Sister. Like all children, we are made to gratify our parents’ desires, only more perfectly: Father’s wish that his work may outlive him; Mother’s hidden longing for a sibling; their joint preference for platinum skin and fine copperwork hair. Even our flaws are artist’s signatures, deliberately placed, from the gold-limned crack in Sister’s tongue to the diamond in my left iris.

I am born loving Sister, who is cleverer and taller and our parents’ favorite. I love how she links our pinkies to make silly promises, that one day we will run away and be pirates or librarians, and how she wipes the oil sweat from above her upper lip, and how she grows quiet when birds linger too long in the noxious air and plummet noiselessly to earth. I love how I can creep about the marsh and always watch her moving around our home, even at night, long before she learns to catch the sparkle off the diamond in my eye and know that I am there.

* * *

After I tattle on her about the flesh children, Sister does not want to be an us anymore.

We are nine, fourteen (I always think of us this way, hour hand and minute, tick and tock). I write her months’ worth of apologies, which she burns, holding lenses up to the watery sun. I bring her crystal gems and discs of nacre when she is troubled—she has occasional fits of soundless, motionless screaming, which make our parents frown—and find them in smithereens. I repaint the dials of her finest displays when they begin to peel, but she refuses to wear them, gouging them with one of Father’s cutting tools.

The day before Sister leaves me, I am watching her change in her room through the walls of mine (I am always watching Sister). An array of faces covers her vanity, slabs of flattened lapis and ruby and quartz, marbled like meat. I can’t imagine what she’s looking for—she smashed all her mirrors months ago. I was made to know Sister, and I hate not knowing what lies within the adamantine curve of her skull. It is like not knowing what lies within my own.

“Stop it, Little,” she says without turning, fingers tracing the bezel that wraps her forehead and cheeks. “Haven’t you done enough?” She tugs. Another face flops onto the floor.

Only one of us is careful with our parents’ handiwork. I learned this when I caught her behind the market with her shirt unlaced for the flesh children, encouraging them to make a game of it—to shatter her hair, crack off lustrous pieces of her chest. I ran wailing to my parents. Sister was banned from market and wept for three weeks, though Mother took a chisel and scraped her cheeks every night to prevent rusting.

“I’m just trying to keep you safe,” I tell Sister. This is how I will remember her, a laugh like a trapped gear squealing.

“Oh, Little,” she says. “Safe for who?”

* * *

Sister does leave me one gift: when I have daughters, I know just how to fix them.

When I grow up, I realize the blame must lie with our parents. They made us too similar in looks yet too separate in age, so that we would always clash, as like magnets do. They forbade me from telling Sister about all my special features—the rows of alarms studding my tonsils like hidden mouths, the camera that blooms in my unshining right iris, the tape our parents unspooled from my ribcage each Sunday in a room full of chemical smells and red, wet darkness. I’ll never know how she knew about the key tucked between my vertebrae, filigreed and cold.

Sisters shouldn’t have secrets.

I surpass my parents in horology. I study the candle, the hourglass, the clepsydra. In a well-received monograph, I argue that timekeeping is the study not of time but of keeping.

The relevant literature has been tested only upon twins, but this is a challenge, not a deterrent. I gather supplies in my parents’ old workshop, the walls still hung with their unfinished pieces. I trace these with an absent hand while I prepare, plucking lullabies from stainless ribs to quiet the pink things babbling in their bassinets. Flesh is easy enough to acquire; the night market travels, these days, but it does not diminish.

I tell them of the fun we had together, Sister and I. Even when I tickled her or caught her in hide-and-seek. Even when I painted her dials with radium, thinking her jaw might swell and her teeth fall out, which I would collect under my pillow and use for stray wishes. I would have wished to see the inside of her skull one last time.

I have made sure nothing will come between my daughters. The experiment goes seamlessly. That night, I listen to the faint tick-tock of their hearts, sloshing with exquisitely calibrated blood; I sleep and do not dream to the gentle, pendulous sound of one child filling while the other empties, like two lungs breathing in separate rooms.

* * *

L.M. Guay

Comments

  1. Amara Uju says:
    Loved the story. It is similar to one I have lived.
  2. Joseph says:
    Wow! I have no idea what’s happening, but a wave of images, questions, and stirring uncertainties flood my head. Stimulating story!

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Dissection of a Mermaid

by Wailana Kalama

October 11, 2024

Content Warning: body horror, child death, grief & loss


1. Begin by making an incision at the anus. A large scalpel will do. The anus is located inferior to the anal fin, roughly two palms away from the humanoid/ichthyic seam. Since she is much bigger than a human woman, nearly twice in length and width, with a tough scaled hide, you might encounter resistance. Persevere.

2. Extend the incision below the rear fins and across the mermaid’s hips. Despite first appearances, the mermaid does not have a human’s vaginal cavity. It is a mistake to consider the mermaid a mammal; she is ectothermic, cold-blooded, of the taxon sarcopterygii that has evolved over eons to resemble a swimmer or a seal in order to attract prey such as sharks, killer whales, unwitting polar bears… and in recent times, humans. Much in the same way the flower of an ophrys apifera mimics a bee.

3. Don’t be fooled, however. You only have to look into her gaping jaws, those pointed teeth as unnerving as a shark’s, to see her for the predator she truly is.

4. Pass the incision anteriorly between the pelvic fins, used by the maid to slow her swimming. Cut on either side of them in a “V” to loosen them from the pelvic girdle and belly muscles. Lift and pin the fins up and away to reveal the body cavity and expose the internal organs: the liver, pyloric caeca, and adipose tissue. Be sure to wear a proper face mask. The stench of ammonia coupled with sour blood can be overwhelming.

5. Here is where you must be cautious. Tenderly pull out the pyloric caeca, the two finger-shaped pouches that serve as a second stomach, each roughly the size of a newborn. Deposit them in a surgical bucket. Be careful not to damage them, as you recover the evidence.

6. No. Now is not the time to hesitate. You owe her that.

7. Cut gently into these soft pouches; finger through the mess of enzymes and bile until you chance upon a piece of flesh, or two, or three–paler, softer, than their envelope. There, gently, that’s it: what you’re really after. It’s fine if you can’t say it yet.

8. Pull away the fatty tissue to expose the bladder, nested inside a pair each of ovaries and kidneys. Superior to these is your next target: the stomach. With the utmost care, slice it free and lift it into its own surgical bucket. Be mindful; it will have unbearable weight to it.

9. Slice the stomach sac to reveal an intricate net of hard cord, in tatters; and shards of plastic, perhaps once a bottle.

10. Pause, if you must. Don’t tremble.

11. Take a moment.

12. With your blue gloves, pull aside the net to reveal what time and acid have not yet secreted away. A hand… chewed off at the wrist. A popsicle ring, fastened to one finger. Its candy whittled away to a nub.

13. Don’t stop. Don’t stop until you find all of her inside. You owe her that.

14. The mangled lower leg. Its black shoe and buckle. The drenched sock, with zebras on them because they were her favorite.

15. It’s all you can find, and it all fits in a single, stainless steel pail.

16. The rest is up to you. If you must, grip the scalpel harder, take it to the mermaid’s useless breasts, to those wide, mocking hips. Shred them all to rags. Strip away any whiff of motherhood from her, this caricature of empty potential. Slash her throat that it may never sing lullabies; lacerate her mouth that it may never kiss temples goodnight. It’s what this monster deserves.

17. And those eyes. Those flat, barren gels give no hint of envy, even though you know she must’ve—dreamt of it, of bearing what only mammals can, a single, precious pearl. The evidence is here, after all. How long did she lurk beneath the kelp-ridden docks at the pier, waiting? How long did she lick her jagged teeth at the schoolchildren loitering there that day, picking one soul from the crowd, murmuring that one?

18. Well, she got what she wanted. What she mimicked, she became.

19. Welcome to the human world.

20. So yes, maul her. Mangle that awful pastiche. Split open those cheeks and bare those stained teeth so that no God, so that nobody else forgets what she is.

21. Only, take care not to linger in those eyes of hers. Even so distant from the shore, they still carry all the gray hopelessness of an ocean. Stare too long and they’ll get their hooks in you. Stare too long, and you might just catch a glimpse of your own mirrored self.

22. And what a self. What a stupid, useless self.

23. What a worthless thing you are.

24. What a gift you squandered.

25. You, who said she could go. You, who weren’t there.

26. Who mocked her once, taunting her from the waves, your toes bobbing in the surf; calling her a scaredy-cat, a weak-willed thing quivering on the sand. Not daughter enough to join you swimming in the ocean.

27. You, who weren’t at the pier that day to hear her friends laugh at her, see her tiny chin clench, that little black-toed foot inch toward the edge of the dock in an effort to prove them, you, everyone wrong.

28. What a model you are.

29. What a mother.

30. But. Not a mermaid, yet.

31. After all, you still have all your cavities, don’t you?

32. Begin by making an incision in your abdomen, a long line left to right directly below the navel. A fine scalpel will do. The surgery to never harm another child is simple.

33. And that searing pain, like someone tearing you open from the inside? Bear it. Bear it.

34. It’s what this monster deserves.

* * *

Wailana Kalama

Comments

  1. C Charlotte says:
    Excellent!
  2. Haji SM says:
    Frighteningly good and sad.

Leave a Reply

The Trade

by Erin MacNair

October 15, 2024

Content Warning: supernatural animal mutilation

Afterwards, Marty and I erected two tiny crosses under the willow next to the remains of the barn, even though we hadn’t found them.

We’d screamed their names from the doorframe against a howling wind, a pea soup sky. The silo ripped free of its moorings, steel screeching like a murderous banshee. They cowered in the deepest corner of the barn, waiting for us to rescue them. We stumbled to the basement, Marty’s face a rubber mask of tragedy. He pulled a mattress over our heads as jam jars fell and exploded into a sweet strawberry-rhubarb fog. Stupid mutts, Marty said, crying, clutching my arm as we breathed into the dirt. Stupid mutts. There was a moment of eerie silence­–our lives suspended between having and not having–and I thought I heard Bartlett’s hoarse yelp rising away from us before the roar moved on.

When it was safe again, we’d walked the property, slowly. Our loss wasn’t anything insurance couldn’t handle. One wall of the house was peeled away like a layer of skin, scabby drywall curling at the edges, like looking into a tidy dollhouse. The bedside lamp still erect, my thin book still under the bed: Starting a Hobby Farm in Oklahoma.

The yard was in ruins, the laundry line wound tight around the VW bus tipped on its side like a trussed bull, the silo rolled into a giant metal joint. Our heirloom corn, kernels in burnished purple and gold, were piled in front of the door in a perfect pyramid, like an offering.

Here, I made this for you. A trade.

I’d stared at it for a while before ripping my hand free of Marty’s and attacking, kicking the mound loose with my muddy boot, screaming, falling into the drift, a few cold nubs like wooden teeth sliding down my shirt collar.

“It’s ok, Sarah. We’ll keep at it.” Marty laid down with me in the pile of corn as I sobbed. We’d kept at it, though, for years. It was my physiology, my withering insides. My idea the country life could summon miracles. My idea to get the dogs instead. I thought he’d grabbed them and put them in the cellar. He thought I had. What awful parents.

At night we heard the sad braying of beagles throwing their voices across the universe. Marty kicked in the sheets, dreaming in canine. We stapled flyers to telephone poles; in black and white they looked like anybody else’s dogs, eyes like polished marbles. You couldn’t tell anything from those pictures. You couldn’t hear Tip’s Baarow-roww-roww singing, head cocked to one side, couldn’t feel her nose nudging the inside of your hand, searching for strokes. You couldn’t see the pattern of spots against Bartlett’s stomach, like rusted barbeque grates, presented for scratching, or laugh at two tennis balls crammed in his mouth like some yellow buck-toothed hillbilly. You couldn’t see the infinite, stretching past their dark pupils.

We searched the fields and the fire lanes and found lots of other things we also didn’t want to talk about: the chicken with no eyes, the goat impaled in a tree, a random toilet in the deep woods, lid unhinged, hanging like a menacing jaw. Other people had pyramids, too, had things taken. Some had thought to take pictures of this phenomenon and briefly relished in small- town fame, in prairie newspaper headlines.

I took the clippers and sheared my long hair to nothing. I didn’t want to be in pictures. Marty understood and ran his hand along my head, scratching me behind the ears, not realizing he was doing it.

 

Two months later, Marty hollered for me from below the bedroom window.

“Sarah! Sarah come NOW…” I peered out to see Marty’s thick hands scooping up some small, wiggling animals from atop the broken slab of concrete in front of the old barn. He was running to the house, cradling the things in his arms: piglets, bunnies maybe.

I swung open the front door to see what had put the spark back in Marty’s voice. There they were, another miracle on my doorstep — shuddering in Marty’s arms were our dogs. Parts of them, anyway.

Bartlett’s floppy ear, torn off like a broken leaf; Tipple merely a front leg, paw-pad callused and raw. They shivered in Marty’s hands as he bawled, rubbing his face all over them.

“I knew they weren’t gone.”

 

Tip pulled herself along just fine, paw first. Bartlett inched along after like a caterpillar. If he was tired, he’d flop over Tip for a ride, like Dali’s melting clock. We heard their questions, or our own projections. Either way we made it work.

“How could you?” we felt them say first, quivering with anger.

Crying, we explained how sorry we were. They forgave us, slowly. We put their food bowl back. They rolled in it, remembering the stinky pong of kibble; afterwards we’d bathe them in the kitchen sink with Palmolive. We let them lounge on the couch which they obviously enjoyed, spreading themselves out so Marty and I only got one cushion to ourselves.

One night I lay with Bartlett’s ear pressed against my cheek, the warm fuzz undulating as if panting, and stared up at the ceiling.

“What was it like, in the storm? Could you see the farmhouse below? What were you thinking about?” I asked aloud. The ear folded in next to mine, rubbing, rubbing.

“We were thinking, Stupid Marty. Stupid Marty.”

I shook with laughter. Bartlett gave a shiver of happiness and fell off onto the wooden floor with a plop. It took me awhile to stop laughing; him too, his ear flip flopping. I think he was laughing, anyway.

Each day we get to know them a little bit better, get to know what they need. We don’t ask any of the other people who were gifted pyramids what they got back. We decide to leave the crosses where they are, though, for what we did lose.

* * *

Erin MacNair

Originally published in Orca, Winter 2022. Reprinted here by permission of the author.

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Vinegar-Gurgle

by Andrew K Hoe

October 18, 2024

Content Warning: racism, bodily mutilation, murder


Comments

  1. Maria says:
    Vivid and haunting.

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The Tub

by Meg Elison

October 22, 2024

Content Warning: body horror

To Serve the Emperor

by Damián Neri

October 25, 2024

Content Warnings: pregnancy, cannibalism, infanticide


I’d always wanted to have a child, but I never imagined that in order to earn that right, I would have to give birth to the Emperor.

After only two months of pregnancy but intense hours of labor, the Emperor’s fully formed homunculus emerged through my birth canal, clad in a blood-stained gold and purple robe, and an exalted smile on his reddish, swollen face. A miniature clone of the Supreme Leader.

The homunculus awkwardly unsheathed the sword with which he was born, barely larger than a finger, and cut his umbilical cord.

I could hear my husband’s screams and bangs against the delivery room window. I had told him not to come with me because I didn’t want him to witness what was about to happen.

Doped up on the drugs released during childbirth and gestation, which allowed his development without rejection from my body, the Emperor’s homunculus appeared to be the most perfect thing that existed, and I had birthed him myself.

Before placing him in my arms, the doctors performed the royal greeting, cleaned his robe, and kissed his small feet and hands. The homunculus spoke in a high-pitched, rat-like voice that I could barely comprehend, but his intense gaze and the midwife’s gestures reminded me of what I needed to do.

While the doctors sang the imperial anthem, I delicately undressed the homunculus, and he handed me his sword.

I didn’t have to use it. His delicate, cartilaginous body was easy to chew. I began with the left leg, tearing it off with a bite, splitting the femur. The homunculus writhed in ecstasy among the blankets, bleeding. His tiny brain was linked in real time to the Emperor’s, who was experiencing the same thing in his palace.

Through the window, my husband’s face filled with terror and despair.

“Don’t you want my son?” I asked him, savoring the tender flesh with a mouthful, even though he couldn’t hear me through the window. “Don’t you want a piece of him too?”

I knew that if it hadn’t been for the drugs that the homunculus had flooded me with, I’d be incapable of devouring my baby. Because he was exactly that, my baby. It made no difference that the Emperor had implanted him in my womb to satisfy his fetish for being eaten alive. I had conceived and delivered him. And by consuming him, he was all mine once again.

I felt pity for my former self, who would have refused to experience this miracle.

I severed the other leg and the right arm. I took my time savoring them. I’d never tasted anything as delicious as the tender flesh of his feet and hands.

I felt sorry for my husband because he would never be able to experience something so wonderful. There was something primal about giving birth and consuming my own offspring. Mice and pandas did it to maximize survival; so we did too.

I looked at the homunculus’s grateful face; his enormous, yet little, erection; and his breath stirred by jets of blood spurting from his amputated limbs. He was just a newborn, but he already knew the greatest wonders of existence.

“Now the head,” the anesthetist said gently, “but only the right half, or he’ll lose the link with the Emperor. Make sure not to decapitate him; he still has a few minutes to live.”

Even with the bioengineering that enabled his existence, the homunculus couldn’t escape the limitations of the flesh or prevent the loss of his few milliliters of blood from his severed femoral vein.

I bit carefully into his skull. In my mouth, his blood and his spongy brain seemed to melt. Even with only half a brain, the homunculus and the Emperor himself must have felt a joy infinitely greater than the sum of all human pleasures. I was deeply grateful to be a part of this transcendent moment.

The torso was difficult to chew. His internal organs went down my throat uncomfortably. I was disgusted. The drugs in my system were starting to lose their effect. I stared at the doctors, seeking reassurance that what I was experiencing was normal.

I could see his heart beating through his severed torso. He closed his eyes and appeared to have passed out.

“Get this thing away from me!” I yelled as I tossed the homunculus to the other side of the bed.

I looked around for my husband, but he’d already left.

The doctors restrained me and gave me what I thought was a sedative, but I soon realized it was a synthesized version of the substances released by the homunculus during pregnancy and childbirth.

As the drugs took effect, I felt a renewed affection for the creature, for my baby. I caressed him and told him how fortunate I was to swallow him alive. He regained consciousness gradually, and his wide smile indicated that he was ready to return to me.

With overwhelming ecstasy, I tore the homunculus’s head off with a bite. His skull crunched against my teeth. I savored his blood, cerebrospinal fluid, and the crushed marrow from his spine. I chewed on his heart just as it was about to stop beating.

The homunculus’s final scream mixed with my own pleasure cries inside my mouth. After experiencing the delight of being devoured, the remaining grace belonged fully to me.

* * *

I awoke a few hours later, drenched in sweat and surrounded by bloodstained sheets.

The doctors praised me for my bravery. They handed me a message from the Emperor, congratulating me on completing my service and stating that no one among all the volunteers who had given birth to and devoured his homunculi had done it better than me.

Now that I had fulfilled the imperial requirement for procreation, my brain was no longer affected by the drugs. But still, I fantasized about the day when, after nine months of insatiable anticipation, I could finally devour my own baby.

* * *

Damián Neri

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Final Harvest

by Christine Lucas

October 29, 2024

Content Warning: grief & loss, dysfunctional family


I cannot believe you’re dead, Mother. I cannot believe you’re not sitting up from your deathbed to count the crinkles on my tunic and the unplucked hair on my chin. I still brace for impact as I roll out my harvesting knives and lay out my jars and pouches, expecting to hear how I’m doing everything wrong, wrong, and wrong again. Never mind that you knew nothing about my trade or my life after I left.

What was I thinking, returning home to perform your harvest? Every corner of this room, of this house, screams of the life you had without me: the tapestries and throws from every corner of the continent, the knick knacks from faraway beaches and mountain slopes, kaftans and shawls and beaded necklaces, mementos of your solitary adventures. Well, you’ve left for your final adventure now, and I’m here waiting for your corpse to bloom.

What kind of nekrophyta will appear first, I wonder? Every body has its own unique harvest. Will it be a patch of thoughtnettles on your forehead? Coppertraps on your fingertips? You were headstrong and stingy, but one can never really tell until the blooming begins.

Huh.

A silverbell? I wasn’t expecting that. Like miniature daisies with silver petals, those delicate little flowers spurt from the vocal cords of people who loved to sing. I’ve never heard you sing. I don’t even recall you raising your voice; poison is better delivered in slow, cautious motions, and you used your words with the skill of a Master Poisoner. But it’s still a silverbell. If dried and powdered correctly, it can bring good coin.

Let’s begin, then.

Wait a minute. There’s something more here. I should have looked closer, but keeping a safe distance from you has become my second nature. Now I spot the parasite curling around the silverbell: a bloombane. A corrosive little fungus that plagues many nekrophyta, but has a preference for silverbells. Yes indeed, that’s fungus on the flower. I see its grey streaks marring the surface of the silver petals. And I can almost hear your voice in my head, Mother.

See? It wasn’t my fault I never sang to you. It was the parasite.

But that’s not how the necrophyta work, Mother. Their spores exist all around us: in the breeze, on the ground, on every surface, caught in our hair and in the fabric of our clothes.  They lie waiting for the moment of death to spurt, but won’t bloom on barren ground. Silverbells won’t grow on those who hated to sing, and folicacti won’t grow on the feet of those who didn’t enjoy traveling. Nothing cannot create something.

The parasite chose you for a reason. Its spores wouldn’t thrive after death unless you’ve watered them often while still alive. Even after I’ve cut it off from your throat, it grows delicate, translucent pseudopods seeking moisture—seeking my tears. It likes what it likes. You have watered it often—spoiled it, even—with enough of my tears to grow such a splendid specimen. This bloombane alone can pay for six months of my daily expenses.

I don’t care.

I-don’t-care-I-don’t-care-I-don’t-care.

Well.

I don’t think I can do this.

The Harvesters’ Guild invites its members of good standing to perform the harvest of their departed relatives as a courtesy. But stomping on a rare specimen, hurling the nearest breakable item against the farthest wall while ugly-crying is not how reputable harvesters carry themselves. Perhaps this would be a good time to call on one of my colleagues to take over, before the nekrophyta wilt on the corpse. They are good people, all of them. Friends. Family, even. Perhaps they’ll find it in their heart to lie and tell me that something—anything—bloomed on your body that indicated you loved me, even for a little while.

Of course you’d quit half-way.

And of course you’d say that.

No, Mother. I won’t quit. Not this time. I might not excel in many things, but I’ve learned how to cut. How to sever. So, I’ll do just that. First, I’ll cut your voice from my thoughts. Then, I will weep, I will bruise the nekrophyta, I will ruin a few of them—or a lot—but I will finish this. I will harvest the sticky coppertraps from your fingertips—tight with your purse, tight with your heart—and reminiscence of everything you’ve made me earn during my childhood: scraps of allowance and pittance of affection. I will cut the folicacti from the soles of your feet and allow myself the luxury of jealousy, one last time, for all the adventures you had without me.

And once everything is stored as neatly as I can manage, I’ll roll up the tools of my trade, pick up the harvest, and arrange for the cremation. And then, dear Mother, I’ll walk out of my childhood home for the last time and thrive in all the lives you never thought me worthy of living.

* * *

Christine Lucas

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