ChatLegend Scroll Logs

Month of the Weasel, Third-Day

ExHeroGirl:

Dad. Did you have to send a recorder through the gift portal?

TranscendantChaos:

Ah, it’s there already! Good. Should I send a dizi? Or maybe bagpipes? I thought a recorder was simpler to learn while still appropriate to your current geographical milieu. Has he mastered it yet?

ExHeroGirl:

No, because I haven’t given it to him

TranscendantChaos:

You should. How else will you know if he has talent?

ExHeroGirl:

Dad. He’s three. Let him have a childhood.

TranscendantChaos:

You were two and a half when you started playing clear melodies on the dizi.

ExHeroGirl:

I was an outlier. Also times were different. You can’t expect him to be the same

TranscendantChaos:

But of course I can! I know his lineage. There are immortals in his bloodline, you know.

* * *

Month of the Tiger, Fourth-Day

ExHeroGirl:

Dad. A jian? Really?

TranscendantChaos:

You need to stay in practice even though the wars are over, correct? It’s just running around after your child, with an edge! Heh.

ExHeroGirl:

I’m afraid he’s going to cut himself. He’s too young for a sword

TranscendantChaos:

Well then you are going to have to be fast enough to stop him! You cannot tell me the hero of the Three Gorges Battle cannot handle one toddler.

ExHeroGirl:

What is your goal here, Dad?

TranscendantChaos:

He is my grandson. Surely he has some talent somewhere. You are his mother, you need to draw it out of him. I’m too far away to do it myself so I am just supplying the equipment.

ExHeroGirl:

I’m his mother, and I’m saying no more edged weapons until he’s old enough to choose what he wants.

ExHeroGirl:

Nobody’s on the cusp of war here and I’m more concerned about his emotional development than his level of achievement

TranscendantChaos:

Fine. I will look for something less injurious. At least let me know how he does with the jian.

* * *

Month of the Swallow, Sixth Day

ExHeroGirl:

DAD.

TranscendantChaos:

I take it the lion came through! Is it still moving? I thought keeping it animated would be better than a stone lion coming through the gift portal.

ExHeroGirl:

It’s still moving and I don’t know where you thought we were going to KEEP a moving stone lion. Certainly not in the house!

TranscendantChaos:

Of course not. Stone lions live outside. Have you forgotten? They are guardians. Oh wait, in pairs. Maybe I need to send you another one.

ExHeroGirl:

DO NOT.

TranscendantChaos:

Or maybe I should send you 44 of them. That would be funny.

ExHeroGirl:

DO NOT.

TranscendantChaos:

Or even–

ExHeroGirl:

DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT SENDING ME FORTY FOUR DEAD LIONS OR I’M TELLING MOM

TranscendantChaos:

Aiyo. Let a grandfather have some fun, at least. Won’t trial the child, won’t train him–I thought a magical pet would be neutral territory. What does your husband say?

ExHeroGirl:

He says this is between me and my side of the family

TranscendantChaos:

Smart man, staying out of it. I like him. Even if he is not a hero like you are.

ExHeroGirl:

You don’t need to be a hero to live a good life, Dad.

TranscendantChaos:

Certainly. But it helps. And it helps you live a long one.

ExHeroGirl:

If you survive.

ExHeroGirl:

…

Thank you for the peaches.

TranscendantChaos:

Yah. I remember you always enjoyed them. The ones you have there are–

ExHeroGirl:

Yes?

TranscendantChaos:

Different.

* * *

Month of the Dragon, Twelfth Day

ExHeroGirl:

Ok the invisibility cloak is actually a pretty good gift

TranscendantChaos:

Oh! I remember I used to get into TONS of trouble as a boy with it and–wait, wait. I sent that months ago!

ExHeroGirl:

Yeah, I intercepted it. I’m screening everything you send through now

TranscendantChaos:

Well that is just boring. Why did you hold onto it for so long?

ExHeroGirl:

Waited for him to get taller so I could spot his feet under the cloak

TranscendantChaos:

Pahhhhhhh what is the point of that?

ExHeroGirl:

It teaches him to crouch, and build up his quad muscles. That was a fun few days of chasing him around. Weren’t you the one after me for training him?

TranscendantChaos:

Oh! An invisibility cloak was all you needed?

ExHeroGirl:

That and he figured out the gift portal

TranscendantChaos:

He did what? Aiya, I just heard a crash, I might need to go investigate. Your mother is busy entertaining a celestial dignitary at the moment.

ExHeroGirl:

He was wondering where all his new toys were coming from and why they stopped and…he figured out how to make it go in reverse

ExHeroGirl:

Wait, why aren’t you also with the guests? Why are you here talking to me?

TranscendantChaos:

Dignitary traveling incognito. I pretend not to recognize him. What do you mean “in reverse”? I haven’t seen anything get returned?

ExHeroGirl:

The jian was involved, incidentally. He said he needed its parts for something

TranscendantChaos:

THAT’S MY GRANDSON!! Wow! A mage talent! We have not had one of those in the family for six generations! Why…why do I hear giggling?

ExHeroGirl:

He took his invisibility cloak with him and some of his favorite tools. So watch out for things being taken apart and not put back together

TranscendentChaos:

Oh no

ExHeroGirl:

Tell mom I’ll come by on CloudTransport in a few days to pick him up if he doesn’t get tired and reverse the portal back. Have fun being Ah-Gong!

TranscendentChaos:

Oh no

TranscendentChaos:

When did he get so fast?

TranscendentChaos:

Why did he get so fast?

TranscendentChaos:

Oh no

TranscendentChaos:

Oh no

TranscendentChaos:

Help

ExHeroGirl:

🙂

* * *

Ⓒ V.H. Chen