April 2024
April 2024
How to Safely Store Your Dragons
Never on the mantlepiece. Their love of fire will soon create a blaze not even your magic can subdue, climbing the ceiling in search of a chimney, chewing insulation and nibbling the rafters to nothing. By the time you return from the store, arms laden with spell candles and kale, of your cottage only smoke will remain. So please—never store your dragons on the mantlepiece.
Likewise the kitchen. Sure, they look cute in the linen drawer, and they will love you for gifting them such as warm, well-stocked place. But soon enough, you’ll find yourself extracting wriggling green bodies from decimated cereal boxes, masticated potato sacks, hollow squash skins, and soggy cartons devoid of even a half cup of orange juice. You will learn the hard way how hungry dragons can be.
Knowing this, the back garden may seem a prudent choice, but remember your veggie patch? Think of your poor kitchen, and keep the dragons inside.
We understand this is your first foray into dragon-keeping. Perhaps you inherited your dragons, or perhaps you found them on the side of the road, a rat king of squirming, keening coils. It is just as well you asked our advice. We’ve been keeping dragons for longer than history records.
Their benefits are obvious: luck, prosperity, security. Dragons have impeccable senses of smell, and can easily distinguish their keeper’s voice from that of a stranger. In order to realize their greatest potential, however, it’s imperative you offer them the best home possible. A dragon, once stored, will grow. And once grown, it becomes so much more than a simple talisman.
When they’re young, the bathroom isn’t a bad option. They love water and catch all the pesky moths that try to eat your towels. But beware—when they grow older, their play becomes more than a nuisance, and no one enjoys calling a plumber for assistance. Some things not even magic can fix.
The attic will do for half the year. It’s spacious, filled to the brim with tasty spiders and nutritious mice. Stack clementine crates and line them with unwashed wool (dragons love lanolin, sure to keep their scales shiny). Supplement their natural diet with henbane and chamomile tea sweetened with honey. If you’re worried about fire, a cast iron pan is indispensable. Take all your spent candle nubs and drop them inside. When your dragons feel the urge, they will confine their pyrotechnics to the pan, and you’ll find the attic pleasantly scented on summer nights.
But in the autumn, an exodus is necessary. Dragons are, after all, cold-blooded creatures, and they hate hibernating almost as much as they love snoozing in your box of junk jewelry, leaving tiny teeth marks on the edges of your pewter pendants.
In October, bring them downstairs. Get them comfortable in the cat tree (the cats never use it, you know, more intrigued by bottle caps and the box it came in). Give them toys and water dishes and shredded newspaper bedding. Make sure they can see the television; they love period dramas and will binge Planet Earth every two and a half weeks. Remember to keep their food bowls topped up with mincemeat, so they don’t go looking for extra (more destructive) snacks. Some enjoy a hamster wheel (never a ball), others a scratching post (lucky the cat tree’s fully equipped).
When they’re settled, make sure to smudge the space and switch on the entertainment before returning to the kitchen to clean up the mess they made this morning.
Wipe the counters, sweep the floor with your favorite broom. As snow begins to fall outside the window, put your tools away. Change from your luscious black gown to the faded plaid robe you’ve repaired more often than the plumbing. It’s winter, after all—time to snuggle up in blankets your grandmother quilted in the ‘50s, and remember.
You may be the only witch in the house, but you’re not alone. Chittering from the corner lets you know: you’ve done well. In caring for others, you’ve gained so much more than luck.
On the couch, put your feet up, cocoa cradled in your calloused hands. Let the murmuring television lull you. Don’t worry, your dragons will sigh little fires to keep your toes warm.
Fried Rice
I came home to Dad yelling at our CookBot again. There was a wok of fried rice on the stove. Dad said, “The damn machine can’t get it right. The garlic goes in when the oil is hot, not with the oil. And the ginger should be chopped fine. Really fine.” Cook said, “Please define […]
Editorial: Love All Ways
This month, Flash Fiction Online celebrates love. Our stories are all about characters making decisions in the name of love. Each situation is different, as are the responses of the characters making their decisions about familial love, platonic love, romantic love, and even magical love.In “Fried Rice” by Shih-Li Kow (Available 2/4/2022), “Gently, Cook, I […]
Hundreds
The ghosts of dead princes hover around her bed. Sometimes they argue about this. Some of them suggest that they might be disturbing her rest. Others think, under the circumstances, that disturbing her rest is just fine, thanks; indeed, her rest could use a little more disturbance. Others, less concerned about her, merely think that […]
The Lighthouse Keeper’s Guide to Pulau Belakang Mati
Welcome. Your first day; your first tilting steps off the crooked jetty. It was nearly trampled by the Dawn, but like the island, it still stands. You seem disconcerted, checking your watch and looking upward. No, you’re not imagining it, the sun is now behind you. In retribution for the occupation, the jinn turned the […]
The Recipe Keeper
Brooka bowed over the engine of the ranch’s lander, her back aching from hours of contortion, and thought of recipes. She most always recited her recipes in a silent mantra. Sometimes she started with the first one and proceeded straight through; other times, she chose a number at random—like thirty-three, the last one collected by […]
The Hundred Hidden Kisses
It was Elroy who first proposed hiding a kiss just off the trail, under a butter-yellow stone whose warmth contrasted with the grays and browns of that wintry day. “Say in 20 years, we’ll come back for the kiss and remember this perfect day.” Petra wondered how much could change: the trail, the rock, even […]
Support Flash Fiction Online
Flash Fiction Online is a free online magazine that pays professional rates. So how do we make that happen? It’s due to the generosity of readers like you.
Here are some ways you can help:
- Volunteer as a reader.
- Become a Patron.
- Subscribe.
- Buy our issues & anthologies.
- Donate.
- Spread the word.